I’ve never had a primary-care doc I truly trusted to with my health, and I’d pretty much given up – but at 44, with some health concerns, I knew I needed to find a reliable clinician to prescribe my meds and make referrals to specialists. Because I’m a queer man myself, I hoped to find a queer male PCP, even though past gay doctors haven’t treated me any better than straight ones have (and sometimes worse). When I stumbled on Dr. Justin Penny in a directory of queer practitioners called OutCare, I was intrigued: not only did he identify as queer like me, but he was also a Doctor of Osteopathy who teaches and publishes on medical ethics. I hoped an bioethicist DO would be at least a little bit nicer than most physicians are, but my expectations were still pretty low. Doctors are doctors, right?

Wrong, in the best possible way: Dr. Penny is like no doctor I have ever met, and I’ve met quite a few. (I’m Indian, so I’m *related* to quite a few.) My visit with him at Smiley’s Clinic was the best healthcare encounter I have ever had, by orders of magnitude. I was moved to tears by his kindness and care – just ask the people at the front desk!

I arrived an hour early for my appointment by accident, and I was startled when a nurse brought me back to an exam room almost right away and took my blood pressure. When a giant man with a big smile bounded through the door a few minutes later, at first I thought at first he was a nurse, which I mean as a high compliment. This guy had the enthusiastic compassion I associate with nurses, not the poorly concealed impatience I’ve come to expect from doctors.

Honestly, I’m not sure Dr. Penny even *capable* of impatience. He talked over every single health concern I shared with him as though I were the only patient in the world, with more curiosity and depth than any clinician I’ve ever met, of any kind. He asked me profoundly insightful questions no provider has ever asked before – questions that revealed not only an ironclad commitment to informed consent, but also a vivid interest in the actual conditions of my life. He not only explained all my treatment options, but also cheerfully offered practical advice when I asked him for it – advice he often shared from his own personal experience. I can’t tell you the difference that made.

Over the years I have seen gay physicians before, absolutely none of whom ever condescended to share anything about their own experience. In fact, I don’t think a gay doc has ever even mentioned their sexuality to me at all. In a stunningly helpful and liberating way, Dr. Penny made it clear that he loves queer men with bodies, cares for the health of queer men with bodies, and is in fact a queer man with a body of his own. It has never occurred to me to be *entirely* honest with a doctor before. With Dr. Penny, I know already that I can tell him anything, and he will care for me no matter what.