For the most part, many cisgender gay men experience various forms of self-deprecation throughout their childhood regarding their effeminacy. Aggressions targeted through verbal usage such as: “sissy,” “faggot”, “maricon,” etc., have created internalized homophobia within gay men that are embedded as childhood trauma. Femmephobia, the suppression or rejection of feminine traits, is a persisting issue within LGBTQ+ communities. This phobia is deeply rooted in societal norms where men are often raised with the admonition to avoid being discriminated against. From a young age, gay men are often influenced by a framework of masculinity that does not fully accept them. Consequently, many gay men attempt to compensate for their queerness by overperforming masculinity, often suppressing feminine aspects of their identity. Social media plays a drastic role in creating these standards of attractiveness, but it also has the potential to challenge and change these perceptions.
Growing up on the border of Texas/Mexico, I was exposed to a lot of machismo and anti-effeminacy. As a queer individual, this was very detrimental to my mental health as well as my ability to be comfortable with my individuality. Machismo “describes beliefs and expectations regarding the role of men in society; it is a set of values, attitudes, and beliefs about masculinity, or what it is to be a man.” (Nunez et al., 2016). Machismo is also correlated with the suppression of femininity in a community, thus promoting masculine dominance. This form of toxic masculinity is a crucial contributor to negative cognitive-emotional factors such as depression (Nunez et al., 2016). Not only that, but gay men are three times more likely than the general adult population to experience depression, predominantly affecting Latino/x/a queer communities (Lee et al., 2017).
Moreover, throughout history, the queer community has been laughed at and stereotypically represented as a laughingstock on television. In the 1980s, gay characters on the screen were typically “identified not by their open gay sexuality but by their mannerisms and appearance” (International Journal of Interdisciplinary Cultural Studies, 2015). The embodiment of gay characters throughout movies has led to a lack of complex character development. These portrayals reinforced harmful stereotypes towards gay men, establishing effeminacy amongst men as a figure of ridicule. While this provided some exposure, it did not offer realistic representations of gay men but rather a generalization of stereotypical characteristics of gay men. Throughout the early 1900s, there was a shift toward coding homosexuality into characters’ mannerisms due to the Hayes Code, which banned overt homosexual characters in films because religious groups claimed it to be “immoral” (International Journal of Interdisciplinary Cultural Studies, 2015). During this period, they started to introduce queer communities through stereotypes induced through their characters, such as “sissy,” “the gay psychopath,” and “the seductive androgyne,” embodying extreme femininity and serving as a source of amusement for the general public (Smeik, 2000). This portrayal of gay men shaped perceptions of gay men as weak and effeminate, a stigma that continues to influence communities today.
The rejection of femininity often defines masculinity. Thus, most men are raised to suppress emotions and avoid any traits perceived as feminine, which, as a result, is a form of hate for effeminate gay men. This internalized femmephobia causes gay men to strive for hyper-masculinity, compensating for the perceived threat to their masculinity posed by their sexual orientation ( Saucier & Caron, 2008). The preference for masculine partners and the rejection of feminine traits are prevalent in gay communities. However, often, as a way of an excuse, individuals tend to express how not being attracted to a feminine gay man is a “preference” when, in reality, these individuals have been engraved in their heads that effeminate men are not as attractive because they are either not “intelligent” or “professionally” presenting. These preconceived notions towards effeminate men are the exact way in which femininity as a whole has been depicted throughout history to be less capable than that of masculinity. Studies have shown that gay men often emphasize their masculinity and seek similarly masculine partners, reinforcing the ideal of hyper-masculine physical appearance (James Stair, 2017). This preference is evident in media targeted at gay men, where advertisements predominantly feature “young, muscular, hairless, and caucasian men” (Saucier & Caron, 2008).
As a feminine Latino gay male, it has been a persisting struggle trying to accept my femininity, mainly because of how it has been perceived throughout my life. I have been constantly diminished by individuals about my identity and how I won’t gain respect because of my effeminate way of being. I experienced a constant reminder that my effeminate way of being would make others not think of me seriously and affect my future. This form of discrimination has indeed affected my perception of myself, and for a lot of queer individuals, it can lead to depression and/or a restriction on one’s characteristics.
Gay media has promoted the normalization of hyper-masculine bodies to be considered the standard for attractiveness. Research has shown that gay men tend to prefer more muscular bodies with a lower waist-to-chest ratio, associating muscularity with masculinity and distancing themselves from femininity (Francisco, Stefanie et al. 2009). This preference for muscularity highlights communities’ emphases on a particular masculine ideal to feel better about their sexuality not being accepted. A study examining the impact of media portrayals on body image among gay men found that exposure to hyper-masculine images led to increased dissatisfaction with their bodies and a heightened desire for muscularity. The results indicate that most participants were concerned with muscularity rather than weight (Levesque & Vichesky, 2006). This dissatisfaction can drive gay men to practice unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive exercise and steroid use, to achieve the “idealized” body type.
This form of femmephobia is also prevalent in online dating profiles within gay communities. Studies have found that profiles containing anti-effeminacy phrases and words are perceived differently, “affecting the perceptions of intelligence, sexual confidence, and dateability, but not physical attractiveness or masculinity” (Miller & Behm-Morawitz, 2016). This indicates that femmephobia is not about an appearance “preference” but more of a restriction towards someone’s personality, thus perpetuating the cycle of femmephobia. An analysis of dating app profiles revealed that phrases like “no fems” and “masc4masc” are commonly used to indicate a preference for masculine partners and to exclude those with feminine traits (Miller & Behm-Morawitz, 2016). Even though individuals who like hyper-masculine gay men often determine “masc4masc” to be a “preference,” they undermine the negative effect it has on feminine individuals, thus excluding them and creating a perception of their characteristics as unattractive. This practice not only marginalizes effeminate gay men but also reinforces the notion that femininity is undesirable and inferior.
Additionally, femininity in queer communities tends to be fetishized by gay and straight men. Research has demonstrated that fetishism is most prominent within the attraction towards transness and nonbinary individuals (Annalisa, Anzani, et al. 2021). This process is a form of sexual objectification towards femininity amongst queer communities, which is a form of dehumanization. There are several cases in which transgender and nonbinary individuals who commonly express a feminine perception are only wanted for sexual desires rather than an actual intimate relationship. This form of dehumanization is a constant reminder of how there is a linkage between the concept of internalized homophobia with that of liking an individual within queer communities that presents as effeminate.
To combat femmephobia, a formerly new way of identifying masculinity should be promoted through the media. Internalized homophobia typically derives from built stigmas and stereotypes throughout cultures. Additionally, “internalized homophobia is the most insidious of the minority stress processes in that, although it stems from heterosexist social attitudes, it can become self-generating” (David Frost et al., 2010). Media can help promote inclusive masculinity by deterring stigma and stereotyping femininity. The expansion of the beauty industry amongst men has increased toxic masculinity amongst several marginalized communities. Additionally, the openness and inclusivity amongst some celebrities have also given rise to the acceptance of femininity. Such media representations can break down the hegemonic structure of masculinity, fostering greater acceptance of diverse gender expressions and reducing femme phobia within LGBTQ+ communities. In addition to media influence, community-based initiatives and educational programs can help challenge femme-phobic attitudes. Workshops and support groups focused on redefining masculinity and embracing femininity can create safe spaces for individuals to express their identities without fear of judgment or rejection. Prominent LGBTQ+ organizations and activists can also be crucial in advocating for more inclusive representations and challenging harmful stereotypes.
The media has historically shaped and reinforced femmephobic attitudes within LGBTQ+ communities by promoting stereotypical and hyper-masculine images of gay men. However, it also holds the potential to challenge and change these perceptions by introducing alternative ideas of masculinity and gender expression. Embracing inclusive masculinity and promoting diverse representations in media are crucial steps towards reducing femmephobia and fostering greater acceptance within LGBTQ+ communities. By addressing the roots of femmephobia and promoting more inclusive and varied portrayals of masculinity, LGBTQ+ communities can collectively work towards more accepting and supportive environments for all its members. If you are interested in learning more about this important topic, you can watch OutCare’s OutTalk episode “Modern Relationships: Breaking Stigmas and Embracing Diversity”.
Author’s bio:
Frank Garcia is an undergraduate student at Columbia University in New York, currently a rising junior majoring in Biology with a concentration in Women’s and Gender Studies. He is also on the pre-med track, with aspirations to become a plastic surgeon specializing in gender-affirming surgeries for gender diverse individuals. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, Frank is a QuestBridge, Gates, and Jack Kent Cooke Scholar, committed to supporting Latinx queer individuals from low-income backgrounds or who are the first in their families to attend college.
In high school, Frank founded the first Gay-Straight Alliance at Roma High School and organized the first Pride festival in his rural hometown of Roma, Texas. He developed leadership and advocacy skills, learning to lead meetings on inclusivity for queer individuals in the Rio Grande Valley. Frank is also an active member of the Columbia Political Union, where he contributes to their Civic Scholars organization. Through this, he prepared and delivered a lecture on inclusivity and the importance of queer representation, presented to high school students in a summer program. Outside of his advocacy work, Frank enjoys expressing his creativity as a part-time singer and music creator.
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